attack of the coxsackie virus or how the hand, foot, and mouth disease changed my view of life

ok, so some of it is chocolate milk...but that was because i made a desperate attempt to get her to drink something.

she's a trooper. a crabby trooper, but a trooper nonetheless.

and my mom is a trooper.

i am not a trooper. i am a victim of this cruel, cruel world; which causes my child to spit out orange disgusting medicine all over me while screaming in pain as i try to force it down her throat because it's good for her

oh the joy.

i can only imagine God. "um, marie. remember the times i knew what was good for you and you screamed in pain and spit it out?"

dang it! why does he always have to be right?

ted gave me the task of trying to see God on everything and seeing God in everything is unavoidable when you start looking. i think our world was designed to bring us closer to God and in doing that we learn more about him, about who he is and who he created us to be.

marriage and parenting have been the two greatest things that have helped me understand God more intimately. i think that's why he designed them and why he designed them the way he did.

once again, i was thinking that somethings were about me.

i thought being a mom would be all fluffy clouds, gushy feelings, cuddles and kisses (well, not completely. but you know, most of the time). but there is way more dirt, grime, blisters, chocolate milk and orange medicine everywhere than I expected. it is one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. the expectations are hugousmongous, the information is exorbitant and the emotions are o-ver-whelm-ing. overwhelming. but it is also the most rewarding experiences.

i'm pretty sure God feels similarly about us. we are difficult but he loves us so much and wants the best for us always. even if we are screaming and crying and trying to spit it out and he has to try and shove it down our throats. (that is not generally the picture i like to have or give of God; but i think he does everything he can to reach us and draw us closer to him).

and when my kids are hurting and they need me to hug them, comfort them and love them (despite the fact that my new shirt now has a huge orange stain and alan is almost too big to fit in my lap), you couldn't pay me to be anywhere else, doing anything else.

we were created to learn how to sacrifice. to learn how to give up ourselves completely and give it to others. selflessness goes against human nature, so God created ways that we would be forced to practice it.

he's good. a little tricky. but good.

so, the coxsackie virus sucks and maybe i'm overspiritualizing, but i guess i can see God in it somewhere.