our tuesday

4:55 p.m. at work on tuesday and i received a less than nice email. well, a nasty email to be exact. unfortunately, i've gotten used to them lately from this specific client and it's forcing me to learn the fine art of not taking things personally. so i read the two choice words that start with f and end in u and were so eloquently attached to my name and i smiled, shut down my computer, grabbed my stuff and walked out the door. i thought to myself that life is just too damn short to let my day be ruined by someone like her or something as nasty as that. so when i got home i told alan and ted that we were going to go out to celebrate. i didn't have an answer for what exactly we would be celebrating, but i didn't care.

ted celebrated that he has great ideas.
alan celebrated that he is doing good in school.
alan told me that i should celebrate being a good mom. we all agreed but then decided that i could decide what i celebrated.
i celebrated that i've been swimming regularly and that it has improved my life.
and we all decided to celebrate that maya was over the "disease" (decided as she shoved food into her mouth)

it was a good time. and a nice change of pace for a tuesday night.

what can you celebrate?

just keep swimming

so i've been swimming lately. i go with sarah on my lunch hour and i love it. she wrote a cool post about water and swimming on her blog http://onewholaughs.wordpress.com/ (November 20 "and it feels like flying") when she started swimming. i'm not that cool, but i will say that i smell like chlorine constantly, my hair is probably turning green as we speak, i spend half of every day with wet hair and sometimes i can't hear because there is water in my ear, but it's so worth it! woohoo!!

it is hard to get used to doing an excercise regime where I can't breathe for half the time i'm working out. sometimes i have a small panic attack when my face is in the water about not being able to breathe but then it's time to suck some air in again and the feeling goes away until i stick my face back in the water. it motivates me to swim faster so I can breathe more often, but then i breathe harder and freak out more often.

yeah. i'm hoping to get over that soon. i'm also hoping to get over my fear of naked old ladies.

i'm pretty convinced that the some people get off on the whole "locker room" experience. come on! don't you know that eve ate the apple and we are suppossed to be embarrassed and ashamed to be naked???? some people must not read the old testament part of their Bible. i just don't think it's too much to ask to change into your clothes before you brush your hair or wring out your swimsuit. am i wrong, or isn't that a little weird for everyone involved?

i know for sure these other women in the locker room read the new testament because they already know exactly what's going to happen when the world ends. i almost told them that i believe that Christians will NOT be raptured before the tribulation (gasp!) when i remembered that God is about love and not about being a smart ass.

i need to remember that way more often. (big sigh).

attack of the coxsackie virus or how the hand, foot, and mouth disease changed my view of life

ok, so some of it is chocolate milk...but that was because i made a desperate attempt to get her to drink something.

she's a trooper. a crabby trooper, but a trooper nonetheless.

and my mom is a trooper.

i am not a trooper. i am a victim of this cruel, cruel world; which causes my child to spit out orange disgusting medicine all over me while screaming in pain as i try to force it down her throat because it's good for her

oh the joy.

i can only imagine God. "um, marie. remember the times i knew what was good for you and you screamed in pain and spit it out?"

dang it! why does he always have to be right?

ted gave me the task of trying to see God on everything and seeing God in everything is unavoidable when you start looking. i think our world was designed to bring us closer to God and in doing that we learn more about him, about who he is and who he created us to be.

marriage and parenting have been the two greatest things that have helped me understand God more intimately. i think that's why he designed them and why he designed them the way he did.

once again, i was thinking that somethings were about me.

i thought being a mom would be all fluffy clouds, gushy feelings, cuddles and kisses (well, not completely. but you know, most of the time). but there is way more dirt, grime, blisters, chocolate milk and orange medicine everywhere than I expected. it is one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. the expectations are hugousmongous, the information is exorbitant and the emotions are o-ver-whelm-ing. overwhelming. but it is also the most rewarding experiences.

i'm pretty sure God feels similarly about us. we are difficult but he loves us so much and wants the best for us always. even if we are screaming and crying and trying to spit it out and he has to try and shove it down our throats. (that is not generally the picture i like to have or give of God; but i think he does everything he can to reach us and draw us closer to him).

and when my kids are hurting and they need me to hug them, comfort them and love them (despite the fact that my new shirt now has a huge orange stain and alan is almost too big to fit in my lap), you couldn't pay me to be anywhere else, doing anything else.

we were created to learn how to sacrifice. to learn how to give up ourselves completely and give it to others. selflessness goes against human nature, so God created ways that we would be forced to practice it.

he's good. a little tricky. but good.

so, the coxsackie virus sucks and maybe i'm overspiritualizing, but i guess i can see God in it somewhere.

laughter is the best medicine

the lament of alan

i've been a little blogged out lately. don't worry it's not because of anything you've done. and there is never a shortage of inspiration for things to write about, just no time and energy to do it.

maya and alan have been up to their usual tricks lately. alan was drawing one morning and said to me "why would I do anything else, if I can draw?" or something like that. but of course, today, life is going to end because he's "boooooooooored out of his mind with nothing to do." i say "i thought drawing was supremo" and he just says "mom, you make me want to scream-o."